How to make a million dollars in cryptocurrency
Bitcoin has launched a new breed of nouveau riche, the millionaire hodlers, traders and, well, scammers.
It’s ok, we already know: you’re in it for the technology. But just in case you also have a burning need to eat caviar from time to time, here are Bitcoin Bulletin’s top tips for making your first million in cryptocurrency.
Nothing in this article is intended to constitute financial advice. Following the observations of this article may lead to loss of funds, spouse, custody of children, freedom and potentially life. Do NOT listen to us.
- HODL. Yes, it’s a cliché, but it’s a cliché for a reason. Crypto’s early adopters have done very, very well out of sitting on their coins and not selling – no matter what the market does. With BTC at $8,000 today, anyone who put in a thousand dollars early in 2012 would now be holding a seven-figure equivalent. If bitcoin hits $100,000, anyone who holds 10 BTC (current price tag: $80,000) will be a millionaire. It if hits Tim Draper’s expectation of $250,000 by 2022 or 2023, then you’ll only need 4 BTC, currently worth $32,000. The downside? The past doesn’t predict the future. Also, you’ll need to wait and do nothing for 3-4 years. That’s potentially a lot of daytime television.
- Trading. As the failing trader who coined the term ‘HODL’ noted, Pit pat piffy wing wong wang. Trading isn’t easy but for those who are good at it, it’s possible to make huge profits. Crypto’s signature swings mean there’s a lot of money on the table, and that’s before you use leverage. Only one problem: you’re way more likely to get rekt, Zhou-Tonged, margin-called – whatever you want to call it. But that’s ok. Who really needs a house, clean clothes, or regular meals anyway?
- Scam. The main deterrent to this option – aside from any sense of decency on your part – is the lengthy jail sentence you’ll get if caught. And the odds of getting caught are rising all the time since the authorities are catching on to the whole crypto scam thing. Nevertheless, it seems there are still huge profits to be made from scamming the cryptocurrency community, our gullibility is bottomless! Prior to the ICO craze, your best bet was probably some kind of Ponzi scheme, such as was pioneered by Pirateat40. He netted very large but unknown amounts simply by promising 1% returns to his customers. Brilliant! Nowadays, of course, no one falls for Ponzis, ahem, but you could always try launching a crowd sale and then running away with the money.
Got any other sure-fire methods of making a million in cryptocurrency? Let us know!